Thursday, December 01, 2016

Six Months

Last week I hit my six month mark. It's seemed like a lifetime ago that I had surgery. So much of my life has changed and for the better, thankfully. I posted a picture to my Instagram account of how far I have come. I don't see the day to day changes because I see myself everyday. I see the physical changes in loose skin and bones or tendons now poking out or lines now running up my legs or arms where my muscles are now showing. I'm waiting for my six-pack abs but not sure if I'll ever see them under the loose skin, but I'm fine with just knowing they are there. I had my six month check up on Monday. My doctor was happy with my progress. I've gone from 275 to 198 and 55% of my visceral (extra) fat is gone. I'm 5% ahead of where I should be and would really like to hit my goal of 170 by the time I see him again in six months.
My workout buddy in Alaska. I wouldn't have been faithful in
my workouts without her.

There's been so many other changes that I've experienced that make me realize how far I have come. Baggier clothes, smaller sizes, being colder, being able to reach my toes when I stretch for workouts and running faster minute miles are just some of the changes I can see on the outside. On the inside I still struggle with food and my mind hasn't completely caught up with my stomach on some portions but I'm slowly getting there. I'm also changing the way I see myself. I used to be super critical and almost a bully in my thinking and self talk. I am celebrating the changes both physically and mentally. I'm content with my baggy arms and looser skin because it shows that I've worked hard. It's my badge for what I've accomplished. I rock the cute gym clothes that I never would have worn in my old self. And I'm learning as I go about holiday eating. I spent Thanksgiving with family and I managed to make it through dinner without the gut-busting-wear-your-fat-pants after meal feeling. Dad even bought a pumpkin pie since we didn't have it on Thanksgiving and one bite did me in, As much as I love pumpkin pie, I won't be eating it again because I didn't like how crappy it made me feel.

Alaska and Glacier in the background

I've experienced some other changes as well. I'm more willing to go out and try a new adventure or revisit childhood fun. Over Thanksgiving, my dad and I visited Alaska to spend time with family. In the past I would have walked out to the glacier and stopped and saw it and then walked slowly back to the car and struggled the entire time. This experience- we hiked out, climbed up, slide down and made snow angels on the glacier. Something a year ago, I would have been to uncomfortable to do much less enjoy. Dad said we all were "a bunch of kids" on the trip. I even signed up for another half marathon and am toying with the idea to do a half in every state over my lifetime. I don't have to run them (but I might see if I can).
Snow Angel on the Glacier
It's been a journey, this whole process, and I'm glad that I had the courage to take the leap. When I first started, I felt and had been told by some that it was the easy way out, I think it's harder because I have to be focused in on what I eat and I have to work out. It wasn't a magic pill. I still have to bust my butt at the gym to make a difference. The difference is that now if I eat a piece of cake or something super sweet (I did over Thanksgiving), then I have to deal with having my blood sugar spike and feeling weak and nauseated almost instantly. I've learned these past couple weeks, that even though I think I can handle it, I can't. I might get away with it once but if I repeat the process, it will come back to bite me and mess me up for a few days or even a week. It will make it so my body doesn't tolerate some of the good stuff (chicken, eggs, hamburger) that I normally eat and I have to reset my system. This is a consent learning process for me. Some days I earn an A+ other days I barely make a C-.  But it's my journey and I hope that someone along the way finds a nugget of inspiration or truth to help them on their journey. And that's why I've been sharing.